Biblical Bumper Stickers

• Adam: "You are what you eat." Eve: "At least he doesn't compare me to his mother."
• Abraham: "I'm goin' not knowin'."
• Noah: "Honk if you believe in treading water."
• Moses: "From a basket case to the promise land."
• Elizah: "When Jezebel ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
• Balaam: "My second donkey talks!"
• Prodigal Son: "All roads lead to home."
• At the Sinai desert: "Winding road next 40 years"
• At the Red Sea: "Caution! Subject to sudden flooding"

Government and Religion

A minister was asked by a politician, "Name something the government can do to help the church." The minister replied, "Quit making one dollar bills."

Noah Multiply

After the flood, Noah tells the animals from the Arc to "go forth and multiply."
After a few months, Noah figures he better wander around and see how the animals are doing. Everybody is happy until he comes across a couple of snakes - they are quite downcast and not very happy. Noah asks what wrong, and they say "We are Adders, so we can't multiply!"
Noah rubs his chin for a few moments, and then goes into the forest, cuts down a couple of trees, and makes a table out of them.
Then he puts the snakes up on the platform he has made, and says "Now you should be happy. Everybody knows that adders can multiply with log tables!"