PMS in the Bible

The minister was presenting his Sunday morning service to the congregation. He stated that everything that mankind had experienced or would ever experience was discussed or mentioned in the Bible.
After the sermon, he was shaking hands with the congregation as they filed out of the church. A woman came up to the minister and said, "Preacher, I heard your message today and I really believe that what you said is true. However in my readings of the Scripture, I have never seen any mention of PMS."
The minister scratched his head... thought for a moment and said, "Well sister just off the top of my head I cannot think of a passage but I'm sure that it exists. See me after next week's service and I will give you an answer."
The next Sunday as the preacher was again shaking the hands of the leaving congregation the woman again came up to him and asked if he had in fact gotten her an answer.
The preacher said, "Yes, my dear, that passage does in fact exist." She said, "Well please tell me where PMS is mentioned in the Bible. I've read it many, many times and I have never seen it mentioned at all."
Preacher says, "Its right in the book of Matthew." She said, "No way, I've read that several times and its not mentioned at all!"
He said, "It certaintly is, if you remember in the Christmas story, it states very specifically... that Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!"

A Nine Year Old in Church With Her Mother

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy," she said. "Can we leave now?" "No," her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes," the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy." the little girl replied. "They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the sick'."

What Denomination?

A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What Denomination?", asked the clerk.  "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic!