Black White Red - Doesn't Fit

Q: What's black, white, red all over, and doesn't fit through revolving doors?
A: A nun with a spear through her head.

God's Gift

I was blessed with a 9-inch penis
Thank God the priest is now in jail.

Three Nuns Catch the Priest

There were three nuns talking and one nun said, "I was cleaning the priest's chamber, and I found some Playboy magazines under his pillow, so I burned them." The nuns looked at each other and the next one said, "That's nothing, I found a box of condoms in his drawer, so I poked little holes in them with a nail." The third nun suddenly jumped out of her seat and said, "Oh my god! I got to go."