A Room For The Night

Many years ago, a Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort on Cape Cod, one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The hotel is full." The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have vacancies." The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town" Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeably and said, "I'll have you know, I converted to your religion." The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born?" Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem." "Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more." Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger." "That's right," said the hotel clerk. "And why was he born in a manger?" Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, "Because a jerk like you in the hotel wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!"

Proof That Jesus Was Jewish

Three Proofs that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into his father's business.
2. He lived at home until the age of 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.

Three Proofs that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He never held a steady job.
3. His last request was a drink.

Three Proofs that Jesus was Puerto Rican:

1. His first name was Jesus.
2. He was always in trouble with the law.
3. His mother wasn't married to his father.

Three Proofs that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with his hand.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He worked in the building trades.

Three Proofs that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everybody brother.
2. He had no permanent address.
3. Nobody would hire him.

Three Proofs that Jesus was Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot.
3. He invented a new religion.

Jesus & Joseph

St. Peter has a day-off from his duties at the gates to Heaven and Jesus is standing in for him. Whilst 'booking-in' the new arrivals Jesus notices an old man in the queue who seems familiar. When this man gets to the front of the queue Jesus asks him his name. "Joseph" is the reply, which makes Jesus more inquisitive. "Occupation?" is the next question, the reply being "Carpenter". Jesus is now getting quite excited. In quite a state Jesus asks "Did you have a little boy?", the answer is "yes". "Did he have holes in his wrists and ankles?" asks Jesus, "Yes" comes the reply. Jesus looks at the old man in front of him and with a tear in his eye shouts "FATHER, FATHER"?! The old man looks puzzled and after a moment replies.... "Pinnochio?"