Clothes Make the Person

Q:  What do you call a dead Athiest?
A:  All dressed up and no place to go!

Athiest Workout

Q: What kind of exercise do atheist hate most?
A: CrossFit.

The Atheist Explorer

An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself  "Oh God, I'm screwed!!!!!." There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you." So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living heck out of the chief. As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces, Gods voice booms out again: "Okay ..... NOW you're screwed."