Careful What You Wish For

A couple had been married for 40 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all these years, she would give them one wish each. Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally the wife wanted for herself and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and boom! ... The wife had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn and the fairy assured him he could have any wish he wanted, all he needed to do was ask for his heart's desire. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, honestly, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand and kazoom! ... The husband turned 90!

Girl Talk

Two women who are best friends are talking.
"Martha, if I slept with your husband, would we remain friends?"
"No."
"So, we'll be enemies then?
"No."
"What would we be then?
"Even."

The Drinking Buddy's Marriage Problems

I was out with one of my best drinking buddies, George, and he was talking about marriage and his wife. He drank some, then said, "Well, what it comes down to Jimmy, is... well... my wife knows nothing of my wants and needs... she's hardly ever in the mood for sex.  I guess what it comes down to is that my wife just doesn't understand me at all, does yours ?"  
I thought about it a minute or two, then said. "I don't think so George, as a matter of fact, I don't recall her ever even mentioning your name at all!"