Nude Marathoner

Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband, John, was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend, Ralph, and she heard her husband's car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph: "Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window my husband is home early!"  Ralph looked out the window and said: "I can't jump out the window! It's raining like hell out there!" Mary cried, "If my husband catches us in here, he will kill both of us!" So the boyfriend grabbed his clothes and jumped out the window! When he landed outside he found himself in the middle of a marathon race, so he started running along side the others, only he was still in the nude, carrying his clothes on his arm. One of the runners asked him, "Do you always run in the nude?" Ralph answered, while gasping for air, "Oh yes, It feels so free having the air blow over your skin while you are running." The other runner then asked the nude man, "Do you always run carrying your clothes on your arm?" Ralph answered breathlessly, "Oh yes, that way I can get dressed at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!" The runner then asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?" Ralph answered, "Only if it's raining."

Trying For A Boy

There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally became pregnant, and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of that child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!" Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time"!

Old Couple's Parts Inspection

One day an old man and his wife were sitting in their rockers. The old man reached over and grab his wife's breast and said, ''If these produced milk, we could get rid of the cow.'' Then he reached down and grabbed between her legs and said, ''If this was a little warmer, we wouldn't need the furnace.'' The old woman reached over and grabbed his dick and said, ''If this was a little harder, I wouldn't need your brother.''