Won't Like It

While golfing, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.
A very attractive golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.
She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."
I noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure. "That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "But I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on now," she insisted. She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive. I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, "But I'm sure my wife won't like it."
After a couple of Scotch and waters, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
I replied, "Still under the cart, I guess"....

The Honeymoon is Over

You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights... and so does she!

Nice Melons

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?" She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old. "The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?" She replies, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."