Signs You Might Be a Redneck II

You might be a redneck if...

• You've ever made change in the offering plate.
• The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year."
• You consider a good tan to be the back of of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.
• You own at least 20 baseball hats.
• You think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot.
• You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.
• You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
• When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
• Your screen door has no screen.
• Your biggest ambition in live is to "git that big ole coon. The one that hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn..." 

You Might Be a Redneck If... Collection 40

You might be a redneck if...

• There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
• Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
• There is a wasp nest in your living room.
• The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
• You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
• There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
• You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
• You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
• Fewer than half of your cars run.
• You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

Redneck One - Liners Extended

You might be a Redneck if...

• You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.
• You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.
• You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem.
• The Rancor monster refused to eat you.
• You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
• You think the stock market has a fence around it.
• Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
• Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
• Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
• You burn your yard rather than mow it.
• You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
• Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.
• You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.