Arms, Heads, IQ

Q: What has 72 arms and 36 heads and has an I.Q. of 12?
A: A redneck bar on friday night

What You do Best!

This suave-looking Redneck, (ok, just pretend there is one) walks into a bar and sees a cute little rich girl who's had too much to drink.  He says to her, "Hey, baby...whataya say we go back to your place and get it on! Lost in her drink, she replies, "Sure, why not!"  They get to her place and she lies on the bed and says, "Ok, show me what you do best!". Without delay, the Redneck rips off his jacket, grabs her T.V., VCR, and purse and runs out the door!

'Breviated Medicul Dickshunnary!

Adenoids - (n) Space critters whut are keepin' Elvis alive on Pluto
Anesthesia - (n) Rushun princess y'all red 'bout in skool.
Antacid - (n) aloosinagenic drugs uzed by itty bitty bugz.
Bowel - (n) A alfabit letter lyke A, E, I, O, or U or why?
Bronchitis - (n) dinosour frum the plastikseen age; extinked.
Catscan - (v) lukin' fer hookers (don y'all do this)
Cauterize - (v) makin' eye contak with a hooker (berry dangerous)
D & C - (n) Warshingtun; whar the weirdos, purvurts, & kongress type peepul live.
Emema - (n) sumone who ain't never no frend no how
Fester - (n) yer unkles name (mos likelee)
Genital - (n) head of a army, fer sample, Genital Robert E. Lee
Heart - (v) when u cauz pain to some1
Hypodermic - (n) huge, big, fat zoo crittur; mostly live in de woter
Mamogram - (n) short note sent 2 yer ma er other female
Papsmear - (v) when peepul sez veri ugli things bout yer pappy
Recovery - (n) place wear yew fix up yer fernitur 
Rectum - (v) whut happenz when yew drive yer pick up truck
Drunk seizure - (n) Emperore of Rome.
Series - (n) tv continuin show, fer sample, Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
Testicles - (n) books of the Bible
Tumor - (n) how many beers yew can drink after last call
Urine - (v) xact oppisyte of yerrout