You Might Be A Redneck If - 16

You might be a redneck if...

• You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
• You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
• You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
• You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
• You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
• You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
• You've never paid for a haircut.
• You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
• There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
• You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".

You're a Hillbilly If...

• Any of your neighbors has ever spent Halloween night at the bottom of a hole because you moved their outhouse back about four feet.
• You've ever lost a dog to a bush hog.
• You've ever been arrested for a DUI on a riding lawn mower.
• You keep your teeth and your goldfish in the same glass.
• On average, one out of every thirty words you use can be found in a dictionary.
• You think Motorola is a fancy name for a car part.
• You give your girlfriend long-thorned roses hoping she won't ask for them again.
• You borrow your wedding flowers from Wal-Mart.

Redneck - Stuffed Oppossum

You might be a redneck if there is a stuffed opossum mounted anywhere in your home.