My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where the fuck I am now...

Faster than a Cheetah

Q: What's faster than a cheetah?
A: A Jew with a coupon!

Sex With Sheep

Q: Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of mountains?
A: So they push back harder.