Crowd Pleaser

An out-of-work actor applies for a job in a zoo and is given a gorilla suit. “Our gorilla died ,” says the zoo manager. “You have to fill in for him until we find a replacement.” The actor agrees, and has a great time pretending he’s a gorilla. He does all sorts of tricks and the crowd loves him. However, as time goes on the crowds tire of his antics and start paying attention to the new lion exhibit in the next cage. To win back his audience, the actor starts teasing the lion, pulling its tail through the bars, and throwing banana peel at it. One day the actor decides to do something really daring and steals the keys to the lion’s cage. He waits till the lion is asleep then creeps in its cage with a bucket of water. The zoo visitors can’t wait to see the gorilla soak the lion and a huge crowd gathers. Unfortunately the lion wakes up before the actor can get near him and starts chasing him around the cage. Fearing for his life the actor starts screaming for help. The lion jumps on him, puts a paw on his mouth, and whispers, “Shut up, you moron, you want to get us fired?”

Rich Aroma

I've just read an article about a 91 year old woman who lives with 130 cats. The smell of piss and shit must be horrendous. I don't know how the cats put up with it.

Valentine Sex

As an easy way to save money, a young couple decided that every time they have sex the husband would put his pocket change into a piggy bank on the nightstand. On Valentine's night, he was unusually athletic and accidentally knocked the piggy bank off the table and it broke into pieces on the floor.
To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten and even twenty dollar bills. He asks his wife "What's up with all the paper money?", to his wife which replied, "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you are."