That's Lazy

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. "I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up." Nine hands went up.  "Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man. "Too much trouble," came the reply.

Mini-Skirt

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

Bathroom Drugs

A man was caught by a cop with drugs in the bathroom
The man says, "I swear, it's not mine! I found it here and tried to flush it down the toilet, but every time I flush the drugs down it magically reappears in my hand!" "I don't believe you," says the cop. "Show me." The man tosses the bag of drugs into the toilet, then flushes it. The bag swishes down. The cop then stares at the man's empty hand as the bag is flushed down. "Well," says the cop, "where are the drugs now?" "What drugs?"