Better Late Than Never

Ninety-four-year-old Mrs. Hatcher showed up at her lawyer's office one Monday morning. "I want you to begin divorce proceedings," she announced. The lawyer was aghast. When he regained his composure, he said, "Mrs. Hatcher, you and your husband have been married for over seventy years. What in the world could have happened to make you want to get divorced at this stage in your life?" Mrs. Hatcher looked him squarely in the eye. She cleared her throat and said, "We wanted to wait until all the children were dead."

New Girl

An 85 year old man, who has been a single widower for 30 years, gets engaged to a 27 year old girl. He goes to his doctor for a Viagra prescription in preparation for his wedding night. The doctor tells him, " I need to warn you that given the length of time that you have been abstinent and the potency of this drug, sex could prove to be fatal."
The old man says "Doc, if she dies, she dies."

OLD THINGS.

OLD WANTS never die, they become needs.
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just run out of time.
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just unwind.
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just wind down.
OLD WEATHERMEN never die, they reign forever.
OLD WHITE WATER RAFTERS never die, they just get disgorged.
OLD WOOL COATS never die, they just become mothballed.
OLD WRESTLERS never die, they just lose their grip.
OLD YACHTSMEN never die, they just keel over.
WALT DISNEY didn't die, he's in suspended animation.
There is no conclusive evidence about what happens to old skeptics, -- but their future is doubtful.