The Old-Age Test

Look at each numbered item. Take one point for each one your remember. When finished, check your score below:

1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles
5. Hamburger joints with table-side jukeboxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. Slingshots
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive - 6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S&H Green Stamps
16. Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with levers
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulbs
20. Amos and Andy
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers

 
If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young.
If you remembered 6-10 = Kids are calling your sir/ma'am.
If you remembered 11-15 = You're older than dirt!
If you remembered 16-25 = Check your pulse now!

Senior Citizens to Screw in Lightbulb

Q: How many senior citizens does it take to screw in a light bulb? 
A: One, but she pays a telemarketer $2000 for the new bulb.

Old Never Dies

Old Soccer Players never die, they just achieve their final goal.
Old Soccer Players never die, they just lose their kick.
Old Soldiers never die, they just fade away.
Old Soldiers never die, they just smell that way.
Old Soldiers never die, young ones do.
Old Sourdoughs never die, they just ferment away.
Old Spelunkers never die, they just cave in.
Old Steelmakers never die, they just lose their temper.
Old Students never die, they just get degraded.
Old Swimmers never die, they just fall off their blocks.
Old Swimmers never die, they just have a stroke.
Old Swimmers never die, they just kick-off.
Old System Users never die, they just turn to Null.
Old Tanners never die, they just go into hiding.
Old Tape Dispensers never die, they just get used up.