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Old Age Jokes
Age Quotes
I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type. - Bob Hope
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... - Sir Norman Wisdom
Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you?
Old too soon...smart too late. - Mike Tyson
You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead. - John Mendoza
As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer. - Robert Quillen
People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about the state of your body. - Geoffrey Parfitt
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Easy Specimens
An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks for stool, urine, blood, and semen samples. The old man can't believe it. He takes all his little sample jars and goes home. At home, he tells his wife that the doctor wants stool, urine, blood, and semen samples.The wife looks aghast and then realization spreads like the dawn across her wrinkled facial features.
"That's easy," she says, relief obvious in her voice. "All he wants is your pajama pants!"
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Kiss Me The Way You Used To
A couple were in bed after celebrating their golden anniversary. The wife Said, "Darling, embrace me the way you used to when we first got married." He did. "Now kiss me the way you used to..." "Now darling, bite me the way you used to." At this point the husband got out of bed and the wife said, "Where are you going dear?" "To get my teeth, dear," the husband replied.
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