Constipation Problem

Old Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation.
"It's terrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a week."
"I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor.
"Naturally," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a half- hour in the morning and again at night."
"No," the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?" 
"Naturally," she answered, "I take a book."

Confucius?

Old maids count on fingers, but young girls count on legs.

Life Motto

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.