C-Nile Virus

C-Nile is the latest in a string of nasty 'zero day' viruses that are able to bypass even the best scanners from Norton and McAfee.  It uses birth data from recent Target and Home Depot data breaches and focuses on people born prior to 1965.
Symptoms to watch for:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail.
3. Causes you to send an e-mail to the wrong person.
4. Causes you to forward it back to the person who sent it to you.
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
6. Causes you to hit “SEND” before you've finished. 
7. Causes you to hit “DELETE” instead of “SEND”.
8. Causes you to hit “SEND” when you should “DELETE.”
Yup, it's called the “C-NILE VIRUS.” There is no known fix for this virus.
Hmmm…..have I sent this to you already, or did you just send it to me?

Aged Mother

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family.
When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says, "Not yet." A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, "Not yet."
Finally they say, "When can we see the baby!?"
And the mother says, "You'll have to wait until the baby cries." And they ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?"
The new mother says, "Because I forgot where I put it!"

Older Woman Getting Pregnant

A 64-year-old lady never had any kids, so she went to her doctor and asked if he would help her with in-vitro fertilization. He said, "You're a little old, but I guess we could give it a try." A few months later she got pregnant. She invited her girlfriends over to see the baby, and they all very anxious to see the baby boy. The newly mother said, "why don't we just talk awhile." As time went on, her friends asked again and again where is the baby... She said, "We never get a chance to talk, and here is our chance to catch up!" Finally they insisted on seeing him. She said, "Well, we'll just have to wait until he cries before you all can see him." The women were puzzled. And she said, "I don't remember where I put him."