Senior Citizens to Screw in Lightbulb

Q: How many senior citizens does it take to screw in a light bulb? 
A: One, but she pays a telemarketer $2000 for the new bulb.

What Grandma's Done

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

Old Never Dies

Old Soccer Players never die, they just achieve their final goal.
Old Soccer Players never die, they just lose their kick.
Old Soldiers never die, they just fade away.
Old Soldiers never die, they just smell that way.
Old Soldiers never die, young ones do.
Old Sourdoughs never die, they just ferment away.
Old Spelunkers never die, they just cave in.
Old Steelmakers never die, they just lose their temper.
Old Students never die, they just get degraded.
Old Swimmers never die, they just fall off their blocks.
Old Swimmers never die, they just have a stroke.
Old Swimmers never die, they just kick-off.
Old System Users never die, they just turn to Null.
Old Tanners never die, they just go into hiding.
Old Tape Dispensers never die, they just get used up.