Stop Redundancy

The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Anti - proliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time. Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be un or confusing. So their first meeting will actually be their first meeting and they will not have a meeting before the first meeting. This should avoid having people show up for their first meeting before it is held, since to do so would be confusing to those who did so and this is what they want to avoid by reducing the confusion and lessening the repetition.

Hard Working Business Lines

• Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
• Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
• Has anyone ever heard of a self-made failure?
• Have you flogged your crew today?
• He who beats his sword into a plowshare usually ends up plowing for those who kept their swords.
• He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
• He who dies with the most toys, wins.
• He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
• He who hesitates is probably right.
• He who pulls the oars does not have time to rock the boat. 

George Costanza's Tips for Working Hard IX

Build Vocabulary. Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use it freely when in conversation with bosses.
Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.