Corporate Lessons!

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealth fully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again Said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance, and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity!

Initializing on PC

An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.
Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." (Training stresses that we are "not the Soft-ware Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide.)
Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"
Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized.
"Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?"
Customer:(proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it'?"
Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?"
Customer: "After they were initialized all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. Did I do something wrong?"

10 Business One Liners F-G

1. For every problem, there is a neat, plain solution...and it is always wrong.
2. For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision.
3. Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.
4. Free advice costs nothing until you act upon it.
5. Free time which unexpectedly becomes available will be wasted.
6. Freud's 23rd law: ideas endure and prosper in inverse proportion to their soundness and validity.
7. Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
8. Frustration is not having anyone to blame but yourself.
9. Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration.
10. Geologists do not dress for success unless they are trying to convince others that they are going on interviews.