Work & Office Jokes

Wise Business One Liners

  • Success is the active process of making your dreams real and inspiring others to dream. - James Anders Honeycutt
  • Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
  • Tact is the art of convincing people that they know more than they do.
  • Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.
  • Take this job and shove it.
  • Teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else.
  • Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
  • That which cannot be taken apart will fall apart.
  • The 5 P's : Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance 

Anonymous

Punctual

Being punctual in our Office was of no benefit what-so-ever.
There was never anybody around to appreciate it.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Refused Rejection

Baxter Conners, Vice President
Company 203
203 Wall St.
New York, NY 10015
Dear Mr. Conners,
Thank you for your letter of February 17th. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your bank.  This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.  Despite Company 203's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.
Sincerely,
John Smith

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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