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Military Jokes
General's Dog
It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!" The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said, "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?" Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going to disagree with the General, so the he saluted again and replied, "Sir, Yes Sir!" The General continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?" The Private didn't agree, but them the private was just a private, and responded, "Sir, Yes Sir!" The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train." The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said, "Sir, Yes Sir!" The General continued "I got this dog for my wife." The Private simply said, "Good trade Sir!"
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Water the Grass
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the frustrated Seaman. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"
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Misunderstanding Terms
One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
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