Math & Science Jokes

Newfoundland - Geology Song

Newfoundland, My Newfoundland (Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree) by Brenna Lorenz
Convection's cell was at thy door, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Thy ancient heart to pieces tore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Great faulted blocks came crashing down, and flood basalts the land did drown, And clastics coarse fell all around, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! Iapetus began to spread, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Detritus from thy coast was shed, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Thy slope was draped, so proud and great, with massive banks of carbonate, Grand bank to meet so sad a fate, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! For flysch encroaching from the east, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Devoured thy margin like a beast, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, The ocean floor was raised on high, its mafic head reared to the sky; Its chromous threat was drawing nigh, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! Your once-proud bank was bowing down, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Subduction did thy margin drown, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, The angry mantle did desire to smother thee with ash and fire, And close Iapetus entire, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! The island arc with fiery breath, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Did shower all the land with death, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Until subduction's starving throat, on Grenville crust was made to choke, The tyrant's rule collision broke, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! The land subsided in its pain, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Olistostromes in chaos reigned, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Then in Caradoc time there came a shale everywhere the same That blanketed thy wounds and shame, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! Behold! Upon thy ancient shore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, A landmass was annealed once more, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Alas! Thy trials go on and on, for rifting struck the Avalon - The cycle must repeat anon, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland! 

Anonymous

The Marginal Basin Song

The Marginal Basin Song by Chris Stillman (melody: Lead us on, thou Heavenly Father)
On a margin runs a canyon down into the ocean dark; There's a basin slowly filling with detritus from the arc. Refrain: For the drifting causes rifting, Opens basins mighty fine Which strike-slip will close in time. With volcanics there's no problem; they're erupting all the time; Fill the thin with pillow lavas, sheeted dikes and serpentine. Rising slowly from the ocean filled with gritties coarse and fine, Are you fore-arc? Are you anti-arc? Are you just a geosyncline? 

Anonymous

Sea-Floor Spreading Lament

Sea-Floor Spreading Lament (folksong) by Brenna Lorenz
Refrain: Alas for the spreading of the ocean, Alas for the spreading of the sea, Alas for every year that passes by, Taking you two inches more from me! Oh, why did you leave our native plate, Causing me to weep and to mourn? With the plates diverging at such a rate, To leave me alone and lorn? If only the mantle would my counsel take, If the Earth would but listen unto me, I'd say, "Your convection cell remake, And bring my darling back to me!" So dive you down, you ocean dark, Part of the mantle be- Fire you up, you island arc - Subduct my darling back to me! 

Anonymous
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