Making a Sandwich

One day Little Johnny asks his Mum, "How come when I come in to your room you and you're on top of Daddy, you say you're making a sandwich, but after a while I come in again, you're eating a sausage?!"

Little Johnny and the Difference Between Boys and Girls

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that,  "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls," and would his mother, "please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this." So johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom and closes the door. "First Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse". So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.  "Ok, now take off my skirt".   So he takes off her skirt. "Now take off my bra". Which he does. "And now, johnny, please take off my panties". And when johnny finishes removing those, she says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school any more!"

Little Johnny Alphabet

The teacher was telling her 4th grade class about today's lesson. "I'll say a letter of the alphabet and you give me a word that starts with that letter. Let's begin. A" All the children raise their hands, but little Johnny was almost coming out of his seat trying to get picked. The teacher knew Johnny had a filthy mouth and thought to herself that if she picked Johnny, he would give her a word like 'ass' or 'asshole'. She picked Wendy, and Wendy said "apple". "Very good", said the teacher, "now B". Johnny was jumping out of his seat again, but the teacher picked Bobby. Bobby said "ball". This went on and on with Johnny trying to get picked for each letter and the teacher knowing there was a dirty word for it. Then she got to "R". Nobody but Johnny had their hands up. The teacher thought and thought and couldn't think of a bad word that started with "R". So she picked Johnny; Johnny stands up and says: "R...Rat...a big, fat, f**kin' Rat!"