Light Bulb - 7 Beueaucrats

Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Seven--one to supervise, one to arrange for the electricity to be shut off, one to make sure that safety and quality standards are maintained, one to monitor compliance with local, state, and federal regulations, one to manage personnel relations, one to fill out the paperwork and one to screw the light bulb into the water faucet.

Light Bulb - Bassoonist

Q: How many Bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

Victorian Ladies

Q: How many Victorian ladies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One hundred. One to replace the bulb and ninety-nine to contract consumption and die beautiful, poetic deaths.