How Many ADHD Kids

Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Wanna ride a bike?

Grown Up Words

A teacher was teaching a class of five year olds and asked what they all did in the summer holidays. One boy said he got a ''choo-choo.'' The teacher said, "Please use the proper grown-up word for what you have done. The word is train." Another boy said he got a ''bow-wow.'' The teacher said please use the proper grown-up word for what you have done. The word is dog." Another boy said I got a ''Winnie the Shit.''

Youngster Theories

From Matt Groening's very funny "Big Book Of Hell", here are some philosophical theories shared by youngsters:
If you eat a bunch of fizzies (i.e. pop-rocks or the like) when you drink a glass of water, you will explode.
Dogs and bees can smell fear.
Nothing's impossible. Not even a little baby counting all the grains of sand in the whole world in a fraction of a second.
If you throw a penny off the top of the Empire State Building, it will go a foot into the sidewalk.
There's a place in France where the ladies wear no pants.
If you cut open a golfball, the radioactive juice inside will blow up.
Rain is just God peeing on you.
If you die in your dream, you will die.
Adults are really Martians, and they're up to no good.