Pondering Collection

• Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
• The pen is mightier than the sword -- if the sword is very small and the pen is really sharp.
• If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
• Call me insane one more time and I'll eat your other eye!
• I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
• When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
• Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out?
• The trouble with doing nothing is that you never know when you are finished.
• Money isn't everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.

Lost in Thought

He is always lost in thought, it's unfamiliar territory.

Seminars for Men

Seminars for Men:

• COURSE 001 Combating Stupidity
• COURSE 002 You Too Can Do Housework
• COURSE 003 PMS - Learn When To Keep Your Mouth Shut
• COURSE 004 How To Fill An Ice Tray
• COURSE 005 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings For Christmas
• COURSE 006 Wonderful Laundry Techniques (Formerly - Don't Wash My Silks)
• COURSE 007 Understanding The Female Response To Your Coming Home At 4 AM
• COURSE 008 Parenting: It Doesn't End With Conception
• COURSE 009 Get A Life: Learn To Cook
• COURSE 010 How Not To Act Like An Asshole When You Are Obviously Wrong
• COURSE 011 Understanding Your Incompetence
• COURSE 012 YOU: The Weaker Sex
• COURSE 013 Reasons To Give Flowers
• COURSE 014 How To Stay Awake After Sex
• COURSE 015 SEX 101: You CAN Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try
• COURSE 016 SEX 102: Morning Dilemma - If IT's Awake, Take A Shower
• COURSE 017 How To Put The Toilet Seat Down
• COURSE 018 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
• COURSE 019 How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
• COURSE 020 You Too Can Be A Designated Driver
• COURSE 021 Honest - You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson - Especially Naked
• COURSE 022 The Obtainable Goal: Omitting $@? From Your Vocabulary
• COURSE 023 Fluffing The Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
• COURSE 024 Patronizing Does Not Work
• COURSE 025 Motel 6 Doesn't Always Keep The Light On
• COURSE 026 Real Men Ask For Directions FOR COUNSELING CALL 1-CHA-UVI-NIST