Yo Mama - Star Wars

Yo mama so hairy, when she went to the movie theater to see Star Wars, everybody screamed and said, "IT'S CHEWBACCA!"

Punishment

Q: Mom, why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons?
A: I don't want the neighbors to think I'm employing corporal punishment, dear

A Man Moves to a Nudist Colony

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top part. Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice. A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says,"Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style...it makes your nose look short!"