Yo Mama - Change

Yo mama is so stupid, if I gave her a penny for her thoughts, I'd expect change.

Ten Signs You've Eaten Too Much

10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.
9. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.
8. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
7. Right this minute you're laughing up pie on the carpet.
6. You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.
5. World's fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to "back off!"
4. CBS tells you to lose weight or else.
3. Getting off your couch requires help from the fire department.
2. Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.
1. You're sweating gravy.

Brains

A man has a car wreck and they have to amputate his brain. So the nurse takes him to the brain transplant warehouse. On one side of the shelves are lined with brains marked $500.00 each. On the other side the shelves are lined with brains marked $200.00 each. The brainless man asks why the price difference. The nurse points to the $200.00 brains and explains that these are female brains, so they've been used.