Descriptions Of People You May Know

Some useful descriptions of people you may come into contact with from day to day.

• He got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
• He's got a room temperature IQ.
• He has a photographic memory, but he left the lens cover on.
• He's prime candidate for natural de-selection.
• He's as bright as Alaska in December.
• During evolution, his ancestors were in the control group.
• He fell out of the family tree.
• The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
• He has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
• He's so dense, the light bends around him.
• If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
• If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
• It's hard to believe that he beat 100,000 other sperm.
• Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
• It takes him an hour and a half to watch "60 Minutes".
• He's one burger short of a happy meal.

Only Child

I heard that your brother was an only child.

Missed the Memo

When God was handing out brains, Jack must have been holding the door.