Littering

When Jack was born, his mother was charged for littering.

Collection of "Useful" Insults

When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some of these:

• Ugly as a warthog and half as smart.
• Unclear which of Newton's three laws of motion keeps his ears apart.
• Understands English as well as any parrot.
• Used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
• Useful as a chocolate teapot.
• Useful as a football bat.
• Useful as a hip pocket on a T-shirt.
• Useful as a kickstand on a horse.
• Useful as a mint-flavored suppository.
• Useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
• Useful as dinosaur repellent.
• Useful as tits on a bullfrog / bull / boar-hog.
• Uses all three functional neurons for his best work.
• Uses his head best for rolling Easter eggs.
• Uses his head to keep the rain out of his neck. 

Flat-Chested Brunette

Q:  Why are most brunettes flat-chested?
A:  It makes it easier for them to read their T-shirts.-