Guide Dogs Only

Why do shops have signs that say "guide dogs only"?  The dogs can't read and their owners are blind?

Funny Thought - Mayor of Kentucky Fried Chicken

Why is it that a year ago someone who said, "I'm the mayor of Kentucky Fried Chicken," was an insane old homeless man. Now, he's a hipster teen with an iPhone.

Why, How, and Ifs?

• Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
• Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
• Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
• Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
• Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
• Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
• How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
• If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
• If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
• If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
• If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
• If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
• You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
• Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
• Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
• Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
• Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
• You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?