Guide Dogs Only

Why do shops have signs that say "guide dogs only"?  The dogs can't read and their owners are blind?

Funny Thought - Mayor of Kentucky Fried Chicken

Why is it that a year ago someone who said, "I'm the mayor of Kentucky Fried Chicken," was an insane old homeless man. Now, he's a hipster teen with an iPhone.

Great Reason to Drink Beer

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker braincells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.