Origin of Lawyers

An anxious woman goes to her doctor.
"Doctor," she asks nervously, "Can you get pregnant from anal sex?"
"Certainly," replies the doctor, "Where do you think lawyers come from?"

That Was An Insult

A man came storming out of the courthouse ranting and raving; obviously really angry . He stomped across the street and into the bar and flounced down on a stool muttering, "Asshole attorneys". The man next to him recoiled in outrage saying "I want you to know I highly resent that remark". "Why, are you an attorney?" "No, I'm an asshole."

Lawyer's Funeral

Q: Why do you need only two pallbearers at a lawyer's funeral?
A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.