Funny Thoughts - Lawyer Jokes

What Looks Good on a Lawyer?

Q: What is black & brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman.

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Anonymous

First Question

One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe, no-nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair, unaware that its rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform. "Will you state your name?" asked the district attorney. Tilting back in her chair she opened her mouth to answer, but instead catapulted head-over-heels backward and landed in a stack of exhibits and recording equipment.  Everyone watched in stunned silence as she extricated herself, rearranged her disheveled dress and hair and was reseated on the witness stand. The glare she directed at onlookers dared anyone to so much as smirk. "Well, doctor," continued the district attorney without changing expression, "we could start with an easier question".

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Getting a Divorce

Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said, "I want you to help me get a divorce." The Lawyer says, "OK, what are your grounds?" "My husband is getting a little queer to sleep with." "What do you mean?" asked the attorney. "Does he force you to indulge in unusual sex practices?" "No," replied the woman, "and neither does the little queer."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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