Random: How Come?

• What's with the people who put carpeting on the lid of their toilet seat? What?Are they thinking -- "Gosh, if we have a party there may not be enough standing room; I'd better carpet the toilet too."
• What's with this weird hotel custom of leaving a piece of chocolate on the pillow? I awoke thinking my brain had hemorrhaged some sort of fecal matter.
• Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is that about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."
• Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
• Why do people give each other flowers to celebrate various important occasions? They're killing living creatures. Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."
• Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded every time we go out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing? Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?
• If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?

Bottle of Evian Water?

Q: Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water?
A: Just spell "Evian" backwards!

Pondering Collection Continued

• I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes froze the end of my nose.
• The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• Why is the word big so little and the word little so big?
• Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
• Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• How do I set my laser printer on stun?
• How is it possible to have a civil war?
• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?