Mistakes

I told my dad that he should embrace his mistakes
He had tears in his eyes. Then he hugged my sister and me.

Ain't She Cute

Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies) "Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled... isn't she cute?"
Friend: "But your kid didn't smile."
Father: "I was talking about the nurse."

Tree Watch

I don’t trust those trees, son.
Son: What?! Why not?
They seem kinda shady to me.