Sex Stats

A marketing manager boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange hellos and he notices she's reading a report about sex. He asks her about it and she replies, "It's an interesting report loaded with sexual statistics. It points out that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest diameter. By the way my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto, Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

Polish Army on Horseback

Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
A: Turn off the carousel.

Jump Off Genie

A Polish man, a German guy, and an American dude, climb a mountain because they each want to make a wish from the genie on the top. When they make it to the top, they find the lamp and all rub it. The genie appears and says, "For your wish to be granted, you must yell it out while you are jumping off of this mountain." So the German jumps off and yells, "I wish to be a fighter plane!" "So be it," the genie says, and the German becomes a plane. The American jumps off and yells, "I wish to be an eagle!" "So be it," the genie says, and the American becomes an eagle and flies away. The Polish man runs to the edge, accidentally trips on a rock, and yells, "I wish to b- oh S**t!"