Amsterdam Refugee

A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

Communism

Capitalism, Socialism, and Communism have a meeting for tea at noon. Capitalism and Communism arrive on time, but Socialism is nowhere to be found. Finally he arrives, out of breath and apologetic. "I'm sorry,"  says Socialism, "I was standing in line for sausage." Capitalism says  "What's a line?" And Communism says  "What's a sausage?"

UK Sex

Q: What's the hot new sexual position for people in the UK?
A: The Brexit - you promise to pull out but you don’t.