53,000 Irishman

53,000 Irishmen meet for the 'Irish Are Not Stupid' convention.

Paddy Mcloughlin addresses the crowd.. 
'We are all here today to prove to the world that the Irish are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please?'
Mick O'Rourke gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
Paddy asks him 'What is 15 plus 15?'
After 15 or 20 seconds Mick says, 'Forty!'

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the Irishmen start chanting 'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!'
Paddy says, 'Well since we have a capacity crowd, world-wide press and global broadcast media here,
I think we can give him another chance.'
So he asks, 'What is 5 plus 5?'
After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, ' Twelve?'

Paddy looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh.
Everyone is disheartened and Mick starts crying.
But then the 53,000 Irishmen begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, 'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!'
Paddy, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than good eventually says, 'OK then, what is 2 plus 2?'
Silence hangs over the stadium.
Mick closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, 'Four?'

Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the Irish crowd stand to a man, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream,
'Give him another chance! Give him another chance! 

Irish Compassion

Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish accent:
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake. When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our five hour flight.
Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."

Irish Couple

An Irish couple, whose married bliss was not without a few "squalls," received a humble lecture from their priest regarding their disgraceful quarrels. "Why, that dog and cat you have agree better than you." The husband replied, "If yer reverence'll tie them together, ye'll soon change yer mind."