Simple Chinese

• Dung On MAI Shu - I stepped in excrement
• Ai Wan Tu Bang Yu - Let's sleep together
• Ai Bang Mai Ne - I bumped into the coffee table
• Fat Ho - An unattractive woman
• Ar U Wun Tu - A gay liberation greeting
• Chin Tu Fat - You need a face lift
• Chow Mai Dong - Romantic proposition
• Dum Gai - A stupid person
• Wel Hung Gai - Is that a banana in your pocket?
• Gun Pao Der - An ancient Chinese invention
• Hu Flung Dung - Which one of you fertilized the field?
• Hu Yu Hai Ding - We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugutive
• Jan Ne Ka Sun - A former late night talk show host
• Kum Hia - Approach me
• Lao Ze Sho - Gilligan's Island
• Lao Zi - Not very good
• Lin Ching - An illegal execution
• Moon Lan Ding - A great achievement of the American space program
• Ne Ahn - A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
• Shai Gai - A bashful person
• Tai Ne Bae Be - A premature infant
• Tai Ne Po Ne - A small horse
• Ten Ding Ba - Serving drinks to people
• Wan Bum Lung - A person with T.B.
• Yu Mai Te Tan - Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
• Wa Shing Kah - Cleaning an automobile
• Wai So Dim - Are you trying to save electricity?
• Wai U Shao Ting - There is no reason to raise your voice

Menu Item Translations

The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.

• Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China
• Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong
• Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo
• French fried ships - Cairo
• Garlic Coffee - Europe
• Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe
• Boiled Frogfish - Europe
• Sweat from the trolley - Europe
• Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China
• Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong
• Roasted duck let loose - Poland
• Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland
• Fried friendship - Nepal
• Strawberry crap - Japan
• Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam
• Toes with butter and jam - Bali
• French Creeps - L.A.
• Fried fishermen - Japan
• Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan
• Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania
• Product Names Clean Finger Nail - Chinese
• Japanese mineral water Creap Creamy Powder - Japan
• Coffee Creamer Swine - China
• Chocolates Libido - China
• Soda Pocari Sweat - Japan
• Sport drink Shocking - Japan
• Chewing gum Cat Wetty - Japan
• Moistened hand towels Pipi - Yugoslavia
• Orangeade Polio - Czechoslovakia
• Laundry detergent Crundy - Japan
• Gourmet candy Superglans - Netherlands
• Car wax I'm Dripper - Japan
• Instant coffee Zit - Greece
• Soft drink Colon Plus - Spain

Zen Tao

That was Zen, this is Tao.