Pfizer Covid Vaccine

Pfizer is the same company that created Viagra.  Therefore, we can fully rely on the announced vaccine, because if Pfizer was able to raise the dead, they should certainly be able to protect the living.

No Ho Ho

Want to save money this Christmas and need an excuse for the kids?  Just tell them that Santa had a fever and didn't make it through the pandemic.

2020 Review

1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.
2. I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.
3. 2019:  Stay away from negative people.  2020:  Stay away from positive people.
4. The world has turned upside down.  Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!
5. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog.  It was obvious she thought her dog understood her.  I came into my house and told my cat.  We laughed a lot.
6. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.  Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
7. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?
8. This virus has done what no woman has been able to do.  Cancel sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!
9. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him or her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
10. I need to practice physical-distancing from the refrigerator
11. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard.  I’m getting tired of the Living Room.
12. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask and asking for money.