Buddies Go Inside Europe

Two friends, named Harry and George, go on a trip to Europe, where they have a great time. When they get back, Harry meets up with his pal Phil to tell him all about it. "One of the first places we went to was the leaning tower of Pisa. It was really neat." "Cool. Did you go up inside it?" "No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris. That was really neat." "Cool. Did you go up inside it?" "No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit Big Ben in London." "Cool. Did you go up inside it?" "No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did attend mass at the Vatican." "Really? What happened?" "Well, the Pope made the sign of the cross, and George dropped his right crutch, and he dropped his left crutch." "Cool. What happened then?" "George fell on his ass. He's a cripple, you know."

Cruel Word

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Still Life

Q: What did the winner of the not moving contest get?
A: Atrophy