Front Desk Call

A man calls the hotel front desk. "Hello how I may I be of assistance sir?"
"I NEED YOU TO SEND SOMEONE TO MY ROOM RIGHT AWAY."
"Calm down Sir, what seems to be the problem?" "My wife is trying to jump out of the window..." "Oh that sounds like a personal matter, I'm afraid we cannot involve ourselves."
"Listen here you smart-ass, the window isn't opening up and that's a maintenance matter!"

Kurt Cobain

Q: What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common?
A: They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

Twins

Headline in today's newspaper:  "Suicidal Twin kills sister by mistake"!