Blonde Career

Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"

Blonde - Last Request

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.  She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."  Suddenly the brunette yells, "Earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.  She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."The redhead then screams, "Tornado!!"  Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The blonde shouts, "Fire!!"

Blonde Pistol

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"
"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"And then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"And then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."