Another Breathalyzer

A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway. "Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?" "Driver's licence? What's that?" "It's a little card with your picture on it." "Oh, duh!  Here it is." "May I have your car insurance?" "What's that?" "It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car." "Oh this? Duh!  Here you go" The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde exclaims: "Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!"

Out of Paper!

Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, "I've got to take a crap." The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap." The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass." The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?" The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!" He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes. His friend looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?" The first one replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"

The Blonde Construction Workers

A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I mean ttwo-by-fours." "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check." After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."