Two Blondes Walk Into a Bar

Two blondes walked in to a bar... Thought they'd see that coming.

I Will

A man walks into a bar with his pet crocodile, the bartender screams and demands he get the man eating creature out of there! The man tries to calm the bartender down and says he is very well trained. To prove it the man whipped out his cock and put it in the crocodile's mouth, then he hit the crocodile over the head and after a few good smacks he pulls it out and shows the bar tender, "Look, no marks." The bartender is still unsure so the man asks "Would anyone else like to try?" The bar is quiet and a few minutes later a blonde in the corner stands up and says "I will but don't smack me on the head!"

Gremlin

This guy walks into a pub with a gremlin sitting on his shoulder. He sits at the bar and orders a pint and a half of lager. The gremlin downs his half-pint, runs along the bar, dips his head in a blokes beer and goes, "Brrr!". The guy orders another pint and a half. The gremlin repeats the performance. The bloke grabs the gremlin by the neck, shakes him up a bit, and says, "Listen, if you ever do that again I'll cut yer balls off!" The gremlin says, "Ain't got none!" "Well, I'll cut off yer prick!" "Ain't got one of them, neither." says the gremlin. "Well, how do ya pee?" The gremlin smiled and said, "Brrr!"