Bar Jokes

Odd Group in a Bar

A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Scottish Jokes) , Blonde Jokes
Anonymous

New Alcohol Labeling Laws

Alcohol manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked..
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WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may mack you tink you kan tpye reel gode.
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Categories: Alcohol Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes)
Submitted BY: Richard Koenders

Irish Math

There's these four Irishmen in a bar, all drinking Guinness. One of them is looking rather puzzled, so another turns to him and asks him what's the matter.1st Irishman: Well, I was just trying to remember what 2 plus 2 is. 2nd Irishman: Oh, that's easy, it's 147.1st Irishman: No no no, that can't be right. How about you, Fergus, do you know what 2 plus 2 is? 3rd Irishman: Hmmm ... could it be Wednesday, perhaps? 1st Irishman: No no no, that doesn't sound right either. How about you Pat, do you know? 4th Irishman: Simple, the answer is 4.1st Irishman: Of course! How did you work it out?! 4th Irishman: Aha, that's where brains come in! I subtracted 147 from Wednesday!

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Bar Jokes
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Anonymous
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