Hard of Hearing Genie

OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks "whats in the box?" The man says "I'll show ya' if you get me a beer." So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a little foot tall man and he pulls out a little piano. The little man starts playing the piano! Next the bar tender asks "hey! thats pretty cool, where did ya' get that?" The man says "I'll tell ya' if you get me another beer." So the bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and he says "I got it from a genie and a lamp." The bar tender says "If ya' let me barrow that genie and that lamp I'll give ya' another beer." The man says "Oh, Okay!" The bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bar tender the lamp. The bar tender rubs the lamp and the genie pops out! The genie says "Master, I grant you one wish, what is it?" The bar tender says "I wish for a million bucks!!!" And all of a sudden a million ducks start flying into the room. "What the heck is this!!! I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks!!!" And the man says "Well did you think I wished for a 12 inched pianist?"

The Great Invasion

A young English woman, Polly Martin, met and fell in love with a Yank during WWII. He was a reporter and battlefield artist attached to the military. His name was Wally Woodword and whenever there was any battlefield action Wally would make quick sketches on the front lines which he would later turn into proper drawings from which he wrote his reports. Now, Polly and her friend Susan worked for the Ministry of Defense as did many young English women and the department they worked in was one that allowed them to know a lot of interesting information - including the exact date of the Normandy Invasion. The day before the invasion Polly was telling Susan that she planned to spirit her reporter boyfriend away next day and take him on a picnic out in the country. "But, you can't do that," Susan replied. "Why not?" Her friend asked. "Polly, Wally doodles all D-Day!"

Rhythm

Q: How can you tell when there is a drummer at your front door?
A: The knocking gets faster.