Deputy Visit

A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock at the front door. He opens it to find two sheriff’s deputies there.  One of the deputies asks if he is married. The man replies, “Yes, I am.” The deputy then asks if he could see a picture of the man’s wife. The guy says, “Sure…” and gets a photo to show them. The deputy says, “I’m sorry, sir. But it looks like your wife’s been hit by a truck.” The guy replies, “I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook.”

Boo

If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn't say hello, I'd say boo!

Yo Mama - Calendar

Yo mama so ugly, she couldn't get a date on a calendar.